"Keilani's Long Vacation" (Part 7)

by ToddCheese


Okay, before I proceed any further with my latest fall from adulthood, I feel like I should explain another concept from the Hawaiian language. Last time I told you how Sister Bernadette lectured me about pono, and how my actions on the day I ran away from the orphanage were "against pono".

Pono means, roughly, doing the right thing. And there is always a right thing. Pono is the correct answer to every ethical question, regardless of any individual or religious interpretation. It is what you know to be right, even if it's not what you want, or what you think is best, or what you know you can get away with. Pono is absolute, there is no grey area. But it's different from the Sisters' Christian concept of righteousness, as that often translates to self-righteousness, or doing "what God wants us to do". Pono is also not the inverse of kapu, in the way that "good" and "evil" are opposites.

I'll use myself as an example. When I took that outfit from the clothing boutique, that was not pono. It doesn't matter that I desperately needed it to get people to take me seriously as an adult. It doesn't matter that I had every intention of paying for it later. No matter how you try to twist or rationalize or make excuses for something that's not pono, no matter how much you bury it in the back of your mind, deep down, you know what is truly, universally "right". And that's what you do, and you're at peace with your life because of it.

We native Hawaiians have it easy. All our parents, including mine, taught us the meaning of pono as we grew up. That's their kuleana, their responsibility. So it's an inexorable part of who we are. Or, in my case, how I should be. But needless to say, I was far from being at peace with my life.

I had more than enough to stress about: My upcoming court hearing for stealing from the store. The mountains of overdue, unpaid bills. The question of whether my parents would get home before it was too late. And on top of it all, Suzanne Calloway, the bane of my existence here at Saint Sebastian's, had vowed to "git" me. God only knew what that might entail.

As usual with Suzanne, I didn't have to wait very long to find out. It was the night before my court date. I was lying in the nursery playpen that had become my bed, isolated in a room in the Sisters' private cloister. The orphanage was quiet. The Sisters had a nightly prayer gathering after the girls were put to bed.

The door was locked, and there were the wrought-iron designs that served as bars on the windows. Even if I managed to open one, it was a second-floor drop, and I knew I wouldn't find the main gate unsecured. The Sisters wouldn't make that mistake again.

I heard a key in the lock, and assumed it was one of them checking in on me. They'd been doing that a lot since my recent escape attempt. So I rolled over onto my side and pretended to be asleep.

"A-LOW-haw, Scrawny!" came Suzanne's hateful, grating Southern voice. Why couldn't she just leave me alone? "Don'chew jus' look a-DOR-able in yer li'l feety pajamas?"

Ah yes, I didn't tell you about those last time, did I? They were a donation that turned up in the annual clothing drive, and of course they were just my size. They were an awful shade of pink, with bright yellow pads on the soles of the feet, an embarrassing button-up flap over the ass, and a stubborn zipper in the back that meant I couldn't easily get into and out of them without help. I'd fought a valiant struggle the first time Sister Bernadette brought them in to put on me, twisting my little body every way, trying to keep Sister's hands away from me as she forced first one foot, then the other, into the thick cloth legs. She grabbed me as I tried to crawl away, forced my arms in, then finally, zipped up the back before lifting me over the rail and into the padded playpen.

Over time I'd grown more compliant, since I always got them taken off again in the morning, swapped for my regular Saint Sebastian's uniform of plain white blouse and a skirt that was either too loose or too short. Being isolated from the other girls, I never thought anyone but the Sisters would ever see me wearing them. Of course Suzanne had a knack for ensnaring me in my most vulnerable and humiliating state.

Instinctively I sat up and scrambled back into the far corner of the pen, as far away from her as I could get, like a trapped animal. The bars were just high enough that I couldn't easily climb out on my own in my confining nightwear.

"Get the fuck OUT of here!" I yelled at her, hoping one of the Sisters would hear and come to my rescue.

"Awww, lookit th' cute li'l baby, Makala!" Suzanne cooed, and for the first time I noticed that she'd brought her silent partner in crime along. "Does th' li'l baby need a dahper change? Ah reckon Ah better check!" Suzanne easily reached over the bars, hooked her arms under mine, and began lifting me out. She was strong, but then, I'm also really small and light.

"Git 'er legs, Makala!" she instructed, and Makala took hold of my thrashing lower half by the ankles. They dropped me unceremoniously stomach-down on the nursery floor.

"HELLLLP!" I hollered at the top of my lungs. "SISTER BERNADETTE!!"

"Oh, di'n't Ah tell yew?" Suzanne asked, with badly-feigned surprise. "Ah AM Sister Bernadette!" And she rummaged under her nightgown and produced... The Mother Superior's punishment switch, pilfered from her office! My face went white.

Makala tugged on Suzanne's nightgown a bit, and pointed at herself questioningly.

"Yew? Yew kin be Sister Ooh-LA-lee-ah! Now go 'n' wake ever'body up, they ain't gonna wanna miss this!"

Makala hesitated, looked at me, then back to Suzanne, indicating a bit of concern over what I might do.

"Aww, don' worry, she ain't gonna hit nobody agin. She does that, an' Sister'll shave 'er BALD! Ain't that raht, Kay-Lawny?"

Reassured, Makala ran off to fetch like an eager puppy, leaving me alone with Suzanne.

"Ah bin thinkin' a lot about that tahm yew done hit me, Kay-Lawny," she drawled as she held me down. The bruise on her face had healed, and she was smarter now, paying attention, kneeling on my legs and holding my forearms down so I couldn't take a swing at her again even if I wanted to. "An' yew know what th' Bah-ble says? It says, if some-body strahks yew, yew oughtta turn th' other cheek."

With the switch in her hand, Suzanne undid the zipper on the back of my jammies, and I was powerless to stop her. She peeled it down, exposing my bare olive flesh, and I realized that the only thing worse than having Sister Bernadette squeeze me into childish pajamas was having Suzanne Calloway pull me out of them.

"Now Ah know yew ain't GOT much cheek ta turn," she continued, forcing my arms out of their sleeves one at a time. "But that don' matter none. Cuz it also says, if sum'un takes yer coat, yew offer 'em yer cloak as well!" And to drive that point home, she began tugging the jammies off my legs. I held onto them as best I could, but Suzanne eventually pried my fingers away and was able to finish undressing me.

Makala returned at this point, followed by a bunch of girls from their dormitory. Some of them were rubbing their eyes, looking sleepy and somewhat annoyed, others looked nervous about being in this area which was part of the Sisters' private quarters. But all of them burst into smiles and laughter and pointing when they saw me at Suzanne's mercy, naked except for the big, baggy diaper around my midsection and waist.

All of them except Oliana, once the closest thing I had to a friend, who did her best to look away out of respect for me. We hadn't spoken much since my blow-up on the playground, but I strongly suspected Suzanne had put her through similar torment before I'd ever arrived here.

"Kay-Lawny's got 'erself a big day t'morrow," Suzanne explained to her audience. "So Ah figgered we oughta git 'er up braht 'n' early!" She leaned down and whispered icily in my ear. "Yew 'member when yew done run off 'n' th' Sisters hadta spend th' whole day lookin' fer yew, an' Ah missed goin' on mah field trip?" she asked. "Well, Ah reckon since yew done ruined MAH big day, Ah'm gonna ruin YERS!"

No matter how I turned my neck, I could only catch a glimpse at the corner of my eye, but I knew she was brandishing the switch. As the other girls gathered around eagerly, Makala held my arms down as Suzanne slid the diaper off my bottom.

"Well now, Ah do believe it's all better since 'er last whuppin'!" She ran a hand over my bare olive skin as I fought back tears. "Would ya look at that, Makala. Smooth as a li'l baby's butt!"

And she raised her arm.

Instinctively, I winced.

*tap*

I let out a pained little whimper before it hit me that Suzanne actually... hadn't hit me. She'd just given me a tiny little play swat with the switch, not even enough to hurt. Just enough to remind me of my place here. Somehow, this didn't make it any better. She still had me naked and pinned down, with everyone else watching. I felt the tears threatening to escape.

The other girls, clearly not expecting this either, broke into surprised laughter. A few groaned in disappointment, clearly wanting to see me punished. I could see Oliana furrow her brow. Later it dawned on me that she knew Suzanne wasn't done yet.

She bent down to whisper to me again. "Ah done warned yew not ta cross me, Kay-Lawny. Yew know Ah kin do ennythang Ah want ta yew, don'cha?" I nodded, afraid to say anything lest I start bawling and be unable to stop. "Ah could beat yer nekkid li'l ass 'til it fuckin' BLEEDS, an' you cain't do nuthin' about it." The tears were coming now, I couldn't help it. "But y'know why Ah ain't gonna do that?" I just squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head no. "'S cuz Ah'm BETTER'n yew, Kay-Lawny."

I knew Suzanne wasn't being racist here, claiming she was superior to me because I was native Hawaiian and she was halakea. She was making the point that she had complete power over me, and she could have been as brutal as I was that day on the playground when I punched her in the face. Instead she'd chosen to show me that not only was she in control of me, she was in control of herself. She wasn't going to let her anger at me push her into brash, impulsive action. She was going to be more of an adult than I was.

Okay, maybe "more of an adult" is a stretch, considering what she did next. More... calculating, that's a better word. Suzanne had always been calculating.

Makala let go of one of my wrists, tugged on Suzanne's sleeve, and indicated the clock on the wall.

"Yeah, yer prob'ly raht, Sisters'll be done b'fore too long. Wouldn' want 'em ta miss out on th' show!" She climbed off my legs, and instructed, "Git 'er arms, Makala!"

Makala took hold of them and together they carried me, back legs flailing, out of the Sisters' quarters with the rest of the girls now wide awake and eagerly in tow. She kept a firm hand gripped tightly over my jaw so I couldn't scream for help, while taking care not to give me any opportunity to bite her. Down the stairs and through the main hall we went, past the classrooms, to the chapel at the far end of the orphanage. My stomach iced up in horror as I realized what Suzanne had planned.

"Yew got 'er?" Suzanne asked Makala, who nodded determinedly. "Don' let 'er git away, now." With Makala's arms wrapped tightly around my entire upper body, I was unable to prevent Suzanne from yanking the diaper completely off my legs. The velcro straps holding it in place made an intense ripping noise as they were pulled apart.

"Ah see yer finally gettin' some pubes, Kay-Lawny! 'Bout tahm, Ah reckon!" Yes, my adult pubic hair, which Suzanne herself had made me cut off to keep me looking young, was growing back.

Absolutely no one tried to stand up for me. Most of them were a little scared that siding with me would mean sharing my fate, plus I'd ruined that trip for every one of them, and none of them were happy about it. Suzanne was just the only one willing to accept the consequences of retaliating so brazenly.

As soon as the diaper was off, Suzanne and Makala pushed open the doors to the chapel with their bodies and flung mine inside! I landed in the aisle between the rows of pews, just as the Sisters turned around and saw me sprawled out naked and sobbing from the degradation, my "new" pubes on full display.

Sadly, this was not all just a horrific dream. How did I keep losing to a 13-year-old?! Of course Suzanne got in terrible trouble with the Sisters for all of this, but she didn't give a damn whether her actions were pono. She enjoyed the ass-paddling punishment she got just like always, and took care to minimize Makala's role in the prank.

Needless to say, that incident completely shattered any confidence I may have had about my court appearance, but there was nothing I could do except face it anyway. Gail Whitmur arrived at around eight the next morning, and she, along with Sisters Bernadette and Ulalia, drove me to the Kāne`ohe Courthouse for my shoplifting trial.

The courtroom was small but the hushed atmosphere still managed to make it seem cavernous and oppresive, and a feeling of guilt began to settle on me before the proceedings even started. Well, I mean, I WAS guilty, but still.

"Now Keilani," instructed Sister Bernadette, "Be sure to speak up, answer every question honestly, and please, in the name of all that is Holy... BEHAVE yourself."

She didn't need to tell me that. I was fucking petrified. It was completely different than all the adult trials I'd seen on TV shows. The courtroom seats were mostly vacant, and there wasn't a jury, just the judge. "Magistrate Kuulei Kaleleiki," the nameplate on her bench said. She didn't look friendly.

The clerk who was working at the store I'd stolen from was there, along with Officer Janene, who'd arrested me. There was also a man and another lady I didn't recognize, who I later found out were the prosecuting attorney and the store owner.

Sister Ulalia put a hand on my nervous shoulder and whispered not to be scared, that everything would turn out okay. I wasn't at all convinced that I wasn't going straight back to juvie and staying there until they decided I was 18. My court-appointed public defender consulted with Gail and the Sisters, but not with me.

Finally Judge Kaleleiki called the hearing to order. The prosecutor presented his case, the store clerk testified her version of events, that a little girl had come into the shop alone and browsed, and had taken a long time in the fitting room, so she'd gotten suspicious. When she saw Officer Janene passing by she stopped her and asked her to wait right outside, just in case. It was a good thing she did, because the little girl had changed into some expensive clothes and tried to run out of the store with them. Did she recognize the little girl? Yes, it was me, and she pointed me out. It was all on the store's video surveillance. There wasn't really any defense to present.

The judge asked me to come up and sit in the big chair next to her bench. She asked me a lot of hard questions:

Why did I try to take the clothes from the store? I answered because I liked them but couldn't afford them. It was the truth, if not the whole truth.

Did I know shoplifting was against pono? Yes, I did.

Did I know that the value of the items I took made it a "Class C Felony" under Hawaii law? I felt sick. I hadn't even looked at the price tags.

Would I ever do something like this again? No, never. I meant it, and I hoped like hell she believed me.

How old was I? I swallowed, hard, knowing full well that I was lying in a court of law... and said 12, almost 13.

Did I know what would be happening to me right now if I were an adult? I just nodded and said I'd be in jail. I could only pray they would never discover my actual age now. The repercussions were too frightful to imagine.

Finally she sent me back to my seat. I didn't cry, but I sure wanted to.

Ultimately, Judge Kaleleiki's ruling was that there was "probable cause that she has committed a delinquent act", her exact words. Then she asked the lawyers whether they thought I should be sent to juvenile detention or simply taken back to the orphanage. My stomach twisted up in a tight knot. This was it.

The court defender pointed out that no actual loss had been incurred by the store, that I'd appeared apologetic and contrite. The prosecuting attorney agreed, but stressed that I was a runaway risk, and needed to be closely monitored, and he wasn't convinced the Sisters could handle that on top of all their other duties. Sister Bernadette stated firmly that they were "keeping a better watch on her since the incident, and are in the process of arranging foster care."

"Whoa, wait, WHAT?!" I blurted out without thinking. "Foster care?!?"

A few people smirked at this, and Sister B gave me a harsh glare, but the judge ignored the outburst, and with a tap of her gavel announced that my sentence was a fine of three times the value of the articles taken, plus 40 hours of community service. Sister Bernadette breathed an audible sigh of relief, and I felt awful for having put everyone through all this. But also tremendously relieved myself.

In the end, it was decided that I could simply perform my community service... at the orphanage. Of course this tickled Suzanne to no end, seeing as how she was free to continue tormenting me. It was also a convenient excuse for the Sisters to continue keeping me separated from the other girls.

So every day from then on, I did a few hours of chores under Sister Ulalia's watch (because I still couldn't be trusted alone), while the other girls got to go outside and play. In addition to my mandated 40 hours there was also the hefty fine, and since I didn't have it and the orphanage couldn't really afford it, I had to work to make that up as well.

Most of it was simple menial tasks such as washing dishes or cleaning. Suzanne didn't interfere with my work, aside from creating little messes that I'd have to clean up, or deliberately leaving something gross on her lunchroom tray. And of course she never missed an opportunity to make a comment when she thought Sister Ulalia wouldn't overhear. "Howdy, jail-bird!" she'd whisper, or she'd call me "kanaka hana kalaima", which means criminal. I knew it was a term she'd gotten one of the other native girls to teach her, and most of the time she mangled the pronunciation with that putrid accent of hers.

She definitely didn't try anything massively humiliating like the chapel thing. Still, the way she smirked deviously whenever she caught a glimpse of me told me Suzanne still had something even bigger planned, and I couldn't shake that intuition.

I broke into a cold sweat whenever I thought about Sister Bernadette's "foster care" comment, but I didn't have to wait too long to find out what it meant. One day Gail showed up again and I was brought into the Mother Superior's office.

"Keilani..." Sister Bernadette began once Gail and I were seated. She got right to the point. "You've been staying here with us since June, and I think it's become obvious to everyone that this is not working out."

For once, the two of us agreed on something.

"You don't want to be here, and we don't..." Sister hesitated, as if she were about to say one thing but decided better of it. "Your presence here is just too disruptive to the other girls, and to the staff. So we've decided that, until a more permanent solution can be reached, you will be placed under the care of Ms Whitmur. I believe you two already know each other?"

Gail put a hand on my knee and gave me a smile that was just a liiitle too enthusiastic. "Oh, I know you're probably nervous, Keilani dear, but I just know we're going to have a lot of fun together!" Her head bobbed in an eager little nod. I felt ill. And what was this "more permanent solution" Sister mentioned?

"What about Akela and Naia?" I asked, "Can't I stay with them?" Our last aloha was on about the worst terms possible, but they'd at least tried to make up with me. They had to be better than Gail.

"Those two troublemakers? Out of the question. Fake driver's licenses and teaching you to tell lies, they're a terrible influence. Ms Whitmur has already volunteered, and she has put a lot of effort into making her home ready for you."

"I could stay with... my sister!" I was desperate, grasping for anything that might work, even the older sibling Sister Ulalia thought I had after seeing the pictures of both young me and adult me back at the house. But of course that wouldn't work, they would obviously want to meet her, and the only person on the island who looked exactly like an older me was... me, in grown-up attire.

"If only we could locate her." Sister Bernadette shook her head. "But she's proven as elusive as your parents."

"W-what about my parents?" I asked, almost afraid to hear the answer. "When they get back, how will they find me?"

"Your parents are clearly unfit to raise you, Keilani," said Sister Bernadette coldly. "No one here or at Social Services has been able to contact them. When, or rather IF, they can be located, we intend to work with the State of Hawaii to press charges of child neglect."

"Ch--... Child neglect?!" I could barely utter the words, and they quickly crumbled to tears. Was there any way left for my parents to straighten all of this out? And even if they did, it would mean I'd be unmasked as a 21-year-old felon! Either way, someone's life was going to be irredeemably ruined.

Gail tried uselessly to console me. "Shhh... Keilani dear, don't cry. It'll be okay." Only it wouldn't! "None of this is your fault." Only it WAS, ALL of it! Gail shot Sister Bernadette a glance that said, "Really? Did you have to be so harsh?"

Sister looked slightly abashed, and made the Sign of the Cross over herself, silently asking God's forgiveness. Clearly having me around was taking a strain on her, and she couldn't get me out of there soon enough.

The two went through some paperwork, obviously knowing what they were doing, and just like that I was legally under the temporary custody of one Gail Alice Whitmur. The two of us followed Sister Bernadette into my playpen room, where they packed everything I currently owned into a suitcase Gail had brought along. And what I owned wasn't much: A couple of blouse-and-skirt uniforms I'd been wearing here, my too-small beach outfit, the stupid feety pajamas, and of course those unbearable smiley-faced flower underpants. When Gail had recovered my discarded child's uniform from the store where I'd dumped it, she'd salvaged them as well.

The other girls were gathering to see me go, whispering among themselves. Evidently word of this had reached them before I'd been made aware of it. Suzanne's spying, no doubt. Finally, I was walking out the front door of Saint Sebastian's, although it wasn't like I'd always hoped it would be. I still wasn't going home. I still wasn't getting my adult life back. Gail held my hand as she led me to her car.

"Careful, Mizz Whitmur, Kay-Lawny ain't bin potty-trained! She still wets th' bed!"

My face instantly went red. God DAMN Suzanne Calloway! Gail turned and looked questioningly at Sister Bernadette, who nodded, actually confirming her lie! Even if I'd tried to explain that NO, I DIDN'T wet the bed, Suzanne and Makala held me down and tickled me until I lost control, still no one would have believed it. It was so unfair!

I wasn't convinced that going from Saint Sebastian's to Gail's wasn't a completely lateral move, but what could I do? Gail was surely expecting I'd try to run off right away, but the ironic truth was, even though I was finally away from the orphanage, I'd pretty much run out of places I could go. I no longer had the spare key to my parents' house, I'd already tried and failed to get my old job back, and Akela and Naia's place was in Kāne`ohe, the next town over, definitely too far to make it without getting caught. Besides, I wasn't about to beg them for help again, not after last time. So I was pretty much on my own.

As you've probably guessed, Gail is a piss-poor substitute for my real parents. The woman has never been married, probably hasn't even dated that much. Hell, I've dated more than her and I'm only twe...nty-one, shit, I almost typed "twelve" there! I can't believe how thoroughly it's been drilled into me at this point.

Gail did let me sit up front, but it was probably because she could keep a closer eye on me than if I'd been seated in the back. "Well, Keilani dear," she said, breaking the ice as she steered the car out of the orphanage's driveway. "I'll bet you're probably tired of that old uniform. How about we go shopping?" She seemed thrilled at the prospect of buying clothes for her new "daughter".

Do you know how long it had been since the last time I'd gone shopping? Even though I knew I wouldn't be getting any adult outfits like the one I'd stolen, it would be great to wear something, anything, different. I relaxed a bit as we rode down a highway lined with neat rows of longnecked palm trees, and took in the view of O'ahu's lush, green mountains. God I'd missed them. The tall stone walls around Saint Sebastian's meant I'd never been able to see them very well.

I was so engrossed in the scenery that I didn't pay any attention to where Gail was driving. But the brief excitement at the prospect of new clothes was crushed as soon as I realized where she was taking me. It wasn't to any of the trendy places, or even the island-themed boutiques where Akela and Naia and I used to shop. No, Gail pulled into the parking lot of... fucking Wal-Mart! Most native Hawaiians HATE Wal-Mart, because it so perfectly symbolizes the way big business interests have tromped in and taken over a large part of our beloved islands.

Gail stopped the car, unlocked her door but not mine, and came around to the passenger side. She opened the back seat and took something out which I couldn't see what it was, then finally unlocked my door. Yeah, definitely on full alert for me trying to run.

As she unbuckled my seat belt, I saw that the thing she held had a lot of straps and latches. I was appalled as I realized what it was. But, just on the off chance it wasn't, I asked Gail anyway.

"Oh, I picked this up just for you, Keilani dear. It's a safety harness."

AIÂÂÂ! I moaned to myself. It WAS exactly what I thought it was. One of those fucking child leashes you see overprotective parents use on little kids, kids much younger than me!

"Why do I have to wear a LEASH?!" I complained. "I'm not a damn dog!"

Gail made an annoyed "tsk" sound. "Language, Keilani dear! I wouldn't want to have to punish you on our first outing together." She slipped on her end of the leash, which went over her shoulders like some sort of bizarre bra, and fastened in the front. Mine was similar in design, but smaller, fastened in the back, and had the tether that connected the two together. Its other end clicked into Gail's harness, so she was the only one who could detach them.

"See, Keilani dear? We'll both be wearing one, it's not just you." Yeah, I thought bitterly, and no one's going to have any doubts about which one of us is in charge here. Gail tightened the straps on mine. It was only long enough to let me wander a few feet away from her. "We can pretend we're going backpacking together!"

Ugh, I thought. Wal-Mart was about the worst place on the island to go backpacking, and this woman was one of my last choices for an `awe`awe partner. "Um, Gail?" I asked.

"Call me Ms Whitmur," she instructed, then added, "Or mommy, if you'd like?" looking a bit hopeful.

There was no way in hell I was calling her that. I chose to disappoint her by going with "Ms Whitmur", and asked, "Can I at least pick out my own clothes?"

"Of course, Keilani dear. As long as they're appropriate for your age."

We went straight to the "Iki Kaikamahine" (or "Little Miss") section and began rummaging through the racks of apparel.

Now, I don't think I ever dressed outright slutty when I was 21. But I did like to tease and show off a little leg and midriff, especially since it diverted attention away from my lack of curves. And to that effect I did have a couple of outfits I'm not sure my parents really approved of. But then, they're pretty conservative, as was Gail. She turned out to be rather opinionated about what girls "my age" should wear. Not surprising, considering the woman wears an ankle-length skirt and has her hair up in a tight bun every time I've seen her.

She hummed annoyingly as she moved from one rack to another with me in tow, flipping through outfits, occasionally pulling something out to have a better look. Despite her earlier promise, and my protests, I ended up with a couple of hideous little frilly dresses she thought were cute. She'd hold them up under my chin and examine them from a couple of different angles, inspecting them for... I don't know what. Then she'd have me turn around and do the same thing from the back. It was like she was playing dress-up, and I was the doll. The harness kept me within arm's reach of her, and left both of her hands free.

Thankfully I also got a pair of jeans (not too low-cut), some shorts (not too short), and some more traditional Hawaiian floral dresses. I asked about makeup, but Gail said absolutely not, not until I was older.

All of this took much longer than it had to, because people Gail seemed to know kept coming up to her when they saw us together.

"Awww, she's so CUTE! Is she yours?"

"Yes, she's my new hânai." My foster child. Gail seemed to revel in the new attention she was getting because of me. "Keilani dear, say hello to Mrs Someone-Or-Other-I-Didn't-Give-A-Shit-About."

"Oooh, I just want to pinch her little cheeks!"

And Gail fucking LET them! It made me so mad, and there was nothing I could do about it! They patted my head, cooed over me every time I came out of the changing room in a different outfit... one lady even gave me a little pat on the behind! And I couldn't even protest that I wasn't a child anymore.

Of course, everyone had to comment on my leash as well. "Now that's a handy thing, it keeps her from wandering off and getting lost, do they sell those here?" No one criticized Gail for using the thing, or seemed to think it might be demeaning to me. I was astounded at the time, but I suppose it wasn't that unusual of a sight in Wal-Mart, considering what I've heard about people who shop there. I know I'd never have set foot in the place if Gail hadn't quite literally dragged me in.

She did have to unstrap it so I could try on the clothes, because she wanted to make sure they all fit properly. Which meant getting a changing room and shedding the clothes I came in with, then presenting my new outfit to all the ladies so they could "Ooh!" and "Aah!" and comment on how adorable I looked. Gail went in with me, so I wouldn't be tempted to lock myself in and cause a big scene. More than once her friends got so eager to see me that they nudged open the fitting room door and caught me half-dressed, with the stupid pink rainbow heart panties on full display! I was mortified at seeing these strange women peeking at me, what the hell was wrong with them?! What if one of the other passing shoppers turned and saw me?!

When Gail's fan club finally went away, she put the harness back around me, and I asked if we could get me some better underwear. I knew thongs were out, but I'd settle for anything plain and not outright childish. The adult women's stuff was on the opposite side of the aisle from the girls', so we could each browse a different side with the leash between us. I took advantage of that and casually scanned the adult section for something my size that Gail would approve of.

"How about these?" I asked. It was a package with several pairs of women's briefs, basic black, nothing fancy but also nothing disgustingly youthful.

But Gail said, "No, dear, those are for grown-ups, put them back."

"But they're my size! I wear an adult small!"

Gail pulled a package off one of the shelves on the girls' side. "Oh, look at these, Keilani dear! Aren't they darling?"

I willed myself to look at what she'd found... and was horrified. It was a five-pack of "days of the week" panties in pastel colors -- pink, blue, orange, yellow and green. In my size, of course. They were just about the stupidest, most infantile undergarments of all time. Neck-and-neck with the smiley flowers, but even Wal-Mart didn't seem to carry that kind. It made me wonder just where the fuck Gail had gotten them.

"I'm not wearing those!"

"Keilani dear, you said you wanted new underwear."

"Yeah but not THOSE, they're retarded!" After the little fashion show I'd been forced into, I was starting to get aggravated.

Gail suddenly got serious and knelt down, looking me directly in the eyes. "Keilani dear. I understand this is all a big change for you. I am trying very hard to make this shopping trip fun for both of us, but if you won't be a good girl..." She didn't have to finish, she knew that I knew what would happen if I misbehaved. So I squashed down the impulse to act up. Gail added the weekday panties into the cart next to my other outfits, as I silently glowered.

But the indignity didn't stop with shopping for girlish underwear with Gail. She had to get groceries, too, which meant more dragging me around the store, and I was getting impatient and fidgety.

"Are you tired, Keilani dear? Do you want to ride in the cart?"

Ride in the...! What, did she think I was fucking SIX?!

"NO!" I blurted out petulantly, and immediately wished I hadn't. That was so childish. I may have had to act 12 years old now, but that didn't mean I had to go overboard with it.

"Then behave yourself and follow me, we're almost done."

How could I do anything except follow her, with that stupid leash? As we passed down each aisle, people gave us curious or amused or fawning looks, which Gail pretended not to notice, or maybe she actually didn't, but I certainly did. She might as well have held my hand and pulled me along, that would have been marginally better.

And then things got infinitely, indescribably worse. Because in the grocery section we rounded a corner, and who do you think was standing right there?

Kahoku.

My fucking ex-crush! What the hell was he doing here?! He always seemed to be turning up in places I'd never expect to see him. Kailua Beach Park, at Saint Sebastian's with Akela and Naia, and now here at Wal-Mart! I wanted to hide, but of course being tethered to Gail meant I couldn't escape anywhere. I ducked back as far as I could so that he wouldn't see me, and mercifully he didn't. He turned the corner and went around to the next aisle.

But then a realization hit me. Kahoku was currently dating Akela. (It hurt to remind myself, but it was true.) And with Gail adopting me, Akela and Naia would soon lose track of where I was. As much as I hated to admit it, I needed someone's help to get me out of this, and they were probably my best shot. So when Gail's attention was focused on a shelf near the end of the aisle, I went around to the edge of the next one, as far as I could go.

"Kahoku!" I whispered. He didn't hear me, so I tried again a little louder. "Kahokuuu!"

That time he heard, and started a bit, apparently surprised and a little chagrined that someone he knew had caught him shopping at Wal-Mart. He turned and saw me and paused, trying to place me. "Aloha, keiki... Have we met?"

Christ, he didn't even recognize me anymore! I'm sure I looked like a shy little girl to him, since it was hard for me to look at him face to face. When Sister Ulalia had spanked me on the playground he'd seen me exposed from behind, revealing everything I had to show. I prayed he wouldn't remember, but how could he forget something like that? The leash held me back from getting any closer to him. I bit my lip, but pressed on. "Kahoku, it's me... Keilani Akana."

Even with the name, it took a second or two for him to register me. "Keilani...?" He took a few steps toward me, his expression going from curious to somewhat annoyed. Our last two meetings had left him significantly less than impressed with me. I knew I didn't have much time, Gail would be moving on soon, and taking me with her.

I tried to think of something to say. "Um... How's Akela?" Aiâ, that was awkward. Because Akela had started dating Kahoku, even though she knew I had this huge crush on him. And still sort of do, I guess. But now that I had to pretend to be 12, he was far too old for me.

"Keilani, your hair..." Remember, he hadn't seen it since Sister Bernadette's hack job. His eyes showed concern, and his hand moved toward my shoulder where it used to hang. Then he hesitated, as if he were worried how inappropriate it might look to any bystanders, for him to be touching a girl "my age" like that.

"Yes, I know." I was getting so goddamn fucking tired of hearing about my hair. Look, I know I owe you an explanation, but for now can you just tell Akela--"

Then Kahoku noticed the leash, and had to follow it around the aisle to where it met up with Gail's. She was still occupied with a shelf full of something, I didn't know what. Reading the sides of the packages, trying to choose a brand.

"Who... is she?" Kahoku asked.

I tried anxiously to keep him on topic. "Akela. Tell her I'm staying with this woman, her name is Gail Whitmur, have you got that?"

"Keilani," Kahoku asked, and had to stop and think how best to phrase the question. "Look, just be honest with me, is this..." He gestured at me, decked out in the childish clothes, the lopped hair, the harness, the whole package, and looked almost embarrassed to be asking. "Is this your new... lifestyle now? Is all of this some sort of sub/dom thing?"

"No!" I gasped, my face blushing. "Hasn't Akela explained to you? They think I'm--"

"Keilani dear, you shouldn't talk to strangers." Shit, now we had Gail's attention!

"No! Kahoku's not a stranger, Gail! Um, Ms Whitmur! Um, he and I are, uh, used to be..."

"My friends used to babysit her," Kahoku explained. "We're acquainted." I was about to get upset at the notion of me being babysat, but then I realized, or at least hoped, that Kahoku was just going along with my present situation. I mean, if he'd started insisting I was 21, things could have gotten really bad for me, given my recently acquired criminal background. In any case, his response came off natural and believable, much more so than Akela and Naia's constant stumbling over each other's words. He even managed to hide his disgust at my current appearance. From Gail, although it was still pretty apparent to me.

"Oh. Well it's nice to meet you, I'm Gail Whitmur." She held out her hand, and he shook it. I noticed she put on a coy little smile, too. Was she fucking flirting with him?!

"Kahoku Pelekai." Then: "So. You're... not Keilani's mother." It was a statement intended to tactfully ask the big question. What the hell was the deal with me?

"Oh, it's such a long story. But the short version is, the poor thing's parents..." Gail quickly corrected herself from giving out too much private information. "They haven't been available, so I'm taking care of her for now. And believe me, she's quite a handful!" She gave a little giggle -- Yes, stuffy matronly Gail Whitmur actually fucking giggled! God, was there anyone Kahoku couldn't hit it off with? Suzanne Calloway, Akela... fucking Gail! Why was I the only one who had trouble talking to him?

"Why does Keilani... need someone to take care of her?"

Noooo! I thought bitterly. I'd finally had a chance to explain things to Kahoku myself, and Gail was ruining it! I couldn't tell him I'd been mistaken for a child with Gail standing right there, and if I let Gail tell her version of everything it would just make him more confused and upset with me!

"Well, since you've met her you know how she gets sometimes. Keilani dear, please settle down."

I was busy tugging on the leash, urgently whispering "Let's gooo!" Trying to get away from Kahoku before this got any more awkward than it already was.

But Gail continued unabated. "You know how girls are at her age. She needs constant attention, she needs discipline, she needs--"

"Diapers?" Kahoku indicated the package in Gail's hands. Horrified, I realized that's what she had been browsing for this whole time!

"Why the hell are you buying THOSE?!" I demanded. Now Kahoku would think I was a bed-wetter, too!

Gail, sensing an outburst was imminent, attempted to defuse the situation. "Shhh, it's okay, Keilani dear. We'll talk about this in the car." For once she was trying to spare me some public embarrassment, but I would have none of it.

"I don't need DIAPERS!" I cried out, which was stupid because now everyone in earshot immediately turned their attention to us.

"These aren't diapers," Gail tried to reason with me. "They're Nite-Nite Pants." Like there was any fucking difference!

"I'm NOT a BABY!" As my frustration grew, my voice was becoming increasingly shrill.

"No one said you were." Gail held up the package to show me. "See, they're just like regular undies, only they're just for when you go to bed. That way if you have a little accident, it won't leave a mess."

"I DON'T WET THE BED!!"

"I'm not saying you will, Keilani dear, but it's just in case. If you ever do, you can just take them off and put them in the dirty laundry, and no one ever has to know."

But Gail would know, when she went to wash them! And she'd probably tell Sister Bernadette, and then Suzanne Calloway would find out and tease me about it every chance she got!

At the thought of Suzanne, the hot hatred erupted full-blast in my chest. I was furious with her and Makala for making me wet myself in the first place! I was furious with Gail for not believing me and buying me those stupid things and making me wear them! I was furious with Kahoku and Akela for going out with each other! I was furious with all the stupid Wal-Mart people stopping and turning to look at me! NOTHING was going my way at all, and I had had ENOUGH!

So I shouted, "NO! I DID NOT WET THE BED! SUZANNE CALLOWAY DID IT TO ME!!" And I threw myself down, sitting at the end of the aisle, pouting and fuming at the complete unfairness of it all.

"Come along, Keilani dear." Gail's tone said we were going, whether I liked it or not.

"NO!" I yelled again. Not until she put those stupid "Nite-Nite Pants" back on the shelf and said she was sorry for embarrassing me in front of everybody!

But it wasn't a discussion. Gail took hold of the harness strap between us and attempted to lift me off the floor. But I just sat there and crossed my arms and scowled, staring at Gail defiantly.

She knelt down and whispered. "Keilani, dear. I am going to count to three." She gave me a second to reconsider my actions, then began. "One..."

Kahoku made a disgusted sound. "You know what, Keilani? I have Akela now, I don't even care anymore. You have yourself a nice life." I was sure that any chance I might have had with him, if there ever had been one, was now completely and irrevocably over.

"Wait!" I cried. Mai hele! Don't go! But it was too late. He turned and pushed past the crowd, clearly ashamed to even admit he knew me, and left to finish his shopping.

But the rest of the gawking customers weren't, and they watched with satisfied amusement as Gail continued her countdown. "Two..."

"NO!" I repeated, louder. "NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NOOO, NNNOOOOOO!!" And before I even realized it, I was lying on the floor on my back, kicking and flailing my arms and hollering at the top of my lungs. I didn't even hear Gail say "three". She might not have even bothered.

So, yeah. I pretty much tried to prove I wasn't a baby by... throwing a huge public tantrum. Go, me.

Gail gripped my wrist and turned me over, on my stomach. Then, right there with everyone in the store watching, she flipped up my skirt and slipped my pink rainbow underwear down until it was bunched just below the curve of my bare little ass.

"NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" I shrieked one last time, and struggled even harder to get away. I twisted my wrist from her grasp and managed to crawl to my feet. I took off running... and promptly hit the limit of the leash. In my fury I'd forgotten about that. I tried to slip my arms out of it so I could pull it down and off my body, but I couldn't get the straps over my shoulders, it was fastened too tight. So I tried to pull it off the other way, over my head, using one hand at a time to slide the center straps up my torso, first the front side, then the back, slowly inching it up. I had to switch between the two so I could hold my blouse down with the other hand, so I wouldn't pull it off along with the harness.

But at the same time, Gail was tugging on her end of the leash, pulling me back. And as soon as she got within reach she tried to latch onto my arm again but ended up catching the back of my blouse. She pulled on it forcefully, just as I was yanking the front down to cover my flashing midriff. For an instant I felt the fabric strain... and then suddenly all of the buttons popped loose from top to bottom! Because I was so flat-chested, the Sisters had never even given me a training bra to wear, so underneath the blouse I was topless!

The other shoppers gasped, and some broke into laughter, as my tiny bare tits were revealed to the whole store! Including Kahoku! I caught a glimpse of him at the edge of the crowd, passing by again on his way to the checkout, and he turned momentarily to take one more repulsed look at the unfolding train wreck. It was horrible! I mean, Suzanne Calloway had pretty much told him how small my breasts were, so he already knew I'd been padding my bras and swimsuits, but now he was actually seeing my little exposed nubs! And since he'd seen me exposed from behind before, he now basically knew exactly what my naked little body looked like!

Gail, however, was behind me and thus unable to see what had happened to my blouse. I tried to hold the two sides together and keep my bare chest hidden, but the harness was twisted out of place, like some kind of bizarre bondage gear. My blouse was pinned beneath it, making it hard for me to stay covered. Oh, and of course I'd had my little pink pattern undies still bunched below my ass, peeking out from under the skirt. In the struggle they lost their grip and slid all the way down my legs to my ankles.

Gail pulled me back over her knees and began paddling my bare little bottom into submission.

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

"OWWWWW!" I screeched as Gail's palm repeatedly found its painful mark. Her face was flushed with quiet, contained anger. Adult anger, not at all like mine.

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

"NNOOOO!! STOP IT PU HULA WA HINIII!!" You crazy white bitch, though I wasn't sure if Gail's Hawaiian was good enough to know this. It did seem to make her even angrier, though, and her hand began falling across my cheeks with increased intensity.

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

Not one person came to my defense. Just like the other girls with Suzanne. Either those people all agreed with what Gail was doing, or they didn't want to get themselves directly involved. In between the horror of what was happening and my own fury, my ears caught the muttered comments of some of the onlookers.

"God, no wonder that kid needs a leash."

"Little spoiled brat."

"Yeah, give her what she deserves."

"See, THAT's what too many parents today are afraid to do!"

"You know better than to act like that little girl, don't you?" one mother asked her children. Yes, there were other kids, probably younger than me and definitely better behaved, watching the degrading drama unfold.

Exactly like she'd done before, Gail lectured me as she was spanking me, each stern word accompanied by a sharp swat. "Keilani, dear, this, nonsense, is, going, to, STOP, RIGHT, NOW! You, are, living, with, ME, now, and, you, will, learn, to, BEHAVE!"

My poor little behind was burning. And Gail was the adult, so she could do this to me for as long as she wanted, and all I could do was lie there and take it, and bawl helplessly.

Finally, she decided I'd been punished enough. She slid my underwear back up and lifted the skirt back over it. I whimpered as the fabric rubbed painfully against my poor, sore, freshly paddled cheeks. She turned me around to face her and readjusted my blouse and the harness straps as best she could to cover me. A couple of the buttons had popped completely loose and had rolled off somewhere, so the fabric hung loose in places.

"Keilani dear." She held out a hand. "Let's go." I didn't dare disobey. I took her hand and slowly crawled to my feet, and, head turned down to avoid the gaze of the spectators, followed Gail to the checkout registers at the front of the store, sniffling the entire way.

"I am an ADULT!" came a mocking male voice from behind us.

"Like I've told you a million, BILLION times!" chimed in someone else, probably his buddy, and they both laughed. It was quickly followed by sounds of amused recognition from several other people who'd suddenly gotten the reference. They'd clearly seen the video Akela had taken of me throwing a similar tantrum at Saint Sebastians, which had gone viral when she'd shown it around U of H. Now I was a fucking Internet meme!

It felt like forever before we got checked out and Gail put the groceries in the car. I was sure people were staring at me the whole time. She didn't even bother removing the harness, just unhooked mine from her own and guided me into the passenger seat. I winced. It hurt to sit, but I forced myself to remain still.

Before she started the ignition, Gail turned to me. Or at least I'm assuming she did. I stared down at my lap, unable to bring myself to look back at her.

"Keilani dear. You need to understand, you didn't just make yourself look bad back there. I'm your kahu hānai now, your foster parent. You made ME look bad."

I didn't want to hear any of it. I turned my tear-streaked face to stare out the window, and did my best to tune her out.

"Are you always like this? Did you act this way when your parents were around?"

THAT stopped me cold in my tracks. The wave of guilt returned to crush me for being such a bad daughter and getting mom and dad into so much trouble. We drove in silence (apart from my sniffling and choked sobs) to Gail's apartment. I held her hand and morosely climbed the cement steps to the third floor.

Clearly Gail's job with Social Services was her entire life. She didn't even have a TV. What would have been the living area was an office with a desk, where she worked sometimes. A small kitchen, full bathroom, and two other rooms off the main hallway. On shelves in other rooms were rows upon rows of porcelain cat figurines. I didn't see any real cats anywhere. Maybe the apartment management wouldn't let her keep any. And I felt a little bad for Gail, living all by herself, though I had to remind myself, who the hell could stand to live with her? In any case, she was no longer alone now that she had me.

One of the rooms was a spare bedroom she had all set up just for me. It was nauseatingly girly, with pink curtains and bedsheets (I really hate pink), stuffed animals and dolls, and a closet about to be filled with the girlish clothes she had bought for me today. I already knew I couldn't wear any of Gail's clothes to appear more grown-up. They were all too big, not to mention designed to look good on someone much older than me. Just how the hell old was Gail, anyway? In her forties, I thought, but I wasn't sure. Apparently I was no better at deducing Gail's actual age that she was at determining mine.

She made me a simple dinner, better than the orphanage food but nothing special, not that I deserved anything special. She did get the good pineapple juice, and even after the way I'd behaved, she let me have three glasses. Gail loosened up a bit, let her expereince of punishing me pass. Of course I could never forget. And then:

"Come on, Keilani dear, let's get you ready for bed."

It was barely seven-thirty, but I didn't complain. I was exhausted from the day's humiliations and I just wanted to be by myself. But first, Gail decided I needed a bath, and of course being a brand-new parent she just had to help me take one.

As the tap slowly filled the big porcelain tub, Gail knelt down and began helping her little girl remove her clothes. One by one she undid the buttons on my blouse, pulled one arm from its sleeve, then the other, and unfastened the safety pin that held my otherwise too large skirt in place so it could drop around my shoes. I stood before Gail, one hand across my miniscule breasts and the other splayed across the front of my pink rainbow panties, hiding as much of my exposure as possible.

Noticing, Gail smiled fondly. "Oh, Keilani dear, there's no need to feel embarrassed. Haven't we already done this before?" And we had, back on that first night when I'd come into the police station completely naked, and Gail had dressed me. Only this time the scene was playing in reverse, and that didn't make it any less embarrassing. But I didn't protest. She'd only make me go through with it anyway, and it would be more demeaning if I put up a fight and lost. But I still tried to keep myself covered.

I lifted each foot so Gail could take the skirt, then again so she could undo my shoes and pull the socks off my little feet. All that remained was the underwear, and as Gail reached for it I slid it down myself, using both hands. It was going to happen anyway, but if I did it myself I at least retained a tiny bit of control over the situation.

"Ahh!" squeaked Gail as she got her latest look at naked me. "I see someone is becoming a young lady!"

She was referring of course to my "new" pubic hair, which I didn't have the first time she saw me nude because I'd just shaved it. Involuntarily, my hands went back over my front and an intense blush crept across my face.

"Oh, it's perfectly natural, Keilani dear, it's all a part of growing up. Why, pretty soon your little chest will fill out and you'll be a full-grown woman." She couldn't possibly have known how sensitive I am about my tiny breasts, especially since I knew for a fact they weren't ever going to get any bigger.

The tub was about three-quarters full with warm, steaming water and bubble bath, so Gail turned off the tap and I gingerly stepped in and lowered myself to a sitting position. It still stung a bit, but the water felt good, relaxing after such a long and tiring day, and much more comfortable than the orphanage showers which always seemed to run cold by the time the other girls were done and I finally got to them. I piled up the bubbles around me in an effort to keep my nudity hidden.

Gail knelt down at the side of the tub, dipped a washcloth in the water, and started scrubbing my back. "Wait, what the hell are you--?" I splashed a bit as I tried to scoot away. I didn't want Gail giving me a bath!

"Oh, it's all right, Keilani dear. We're `ohana now, and this is what `ohana do."

Somehow I think Gail had been living by herself a little too long to know what families did. My parents sure as hell never bathed me! I mean, sure, maybe when I was really little, like two, but they knew I was old enough to do it myself well before I turned twelve! I realized she was still the eager new mom, just sharing a motherly moment with her new keiki, but still! Didn't Gail KNOW this wasn't the least bit appropriate?

But what could I do about it? I'd already been punished for one outburst today, I sure as hell didn't want to get sent to bed with a renewed spanking. So I just scooted myself around in the tub so I wouldn't have to look directly at her. Gail scooped up some water with her hands and poured it over my head, then uncapped a shampoo bottle and began working up a lather with her fingers.

"So, Keilani dear," she asked me. "What exactly did you do to earn a haircut from Sister Bernadette?"

Yes, Gail was apparently well aware of that particular punishment. And she might have already known the answer too, and was just seeing if I'd tell her the truth. So I just said I hit Suzanne Calloway on the playground, without giving any more details about the circumstances. There was nothing I could add that would have helped my case anyway.

"You know, I feel kind of sorry for Suzanne," Gail remarked, in a faux-offhand manner that suggested she'd thought out this conversation well in advance. "Did you know her parents went off on vacation without her, just like yours?"

No, I thought, NOT just like mine! My parents had left me in charge. Stupid thing to do, I now realized, considering what I'd gotten myself into without them. But Suzanne's had brought her along with them to O'ahu, then dumped her off at Saint Sebastian's after she'd apparently done something to warrant it. I had no idea what, Suzanne had never bragged about that (which was unusual for her), and being naked in a bathtub at Gail's didn't seem at all like the appropriate time to inquire.

"I think you blame Suzanne for a lot of your problems, Keilani dear. Don't you think maybe you need to stop doing that?"

But it WAS her fault, I thought to myself. She was the one who'd made me feel so angry and so helpless that I felt I had no other alternative. She was the reason I'd wet myself that first time, and the reason everyone's talk about it would never go away, and the reason I'd had to throw a fit over Gail buying me "Nite-Nite Pants" earlier today! It WAS Suzanne's fault! Why couldn't anyone except me see that?

"You and Suzanne have a lot in common," she continued. "You're both without your parents. You both seem to get into an awful lot of mischief. Sometimes it really surprises me that you aren't friends. I bet you could get along better with her, if you tried."

She was trying to go somewhere with this, but I didn't know where. I could tell by the way she peered over my bare shoulder, looking at my face, trying to gauge my reaction. Which was probably a pouty-looking little scowl, because I was furious she was defending my worst enemy. I sulked in silence as Gail washed and rinsed my hair, drained the water from the tub, and dried me off. My hair was still short enough that she couldn't really put it into pigtails again, but that was small consolation. Then it was time to get me into my "Nite-Nite Pants".

*sigh* I admit they were better than the diapers, just barely, but I still felt completely juvenile having them on. Gail was right, they looked just like little girl's underwear, with lace around the elastic and rows of little ruffles on the ass. The only difference was they had an absorbent pad concealed between the legs, in case I happened to piss in them. Which I knew I wouldn't, but maybe if I just tolerated wearing them for a few days Gail would realize I was telling the truth about not wetting the bed, and I could wear normal underwear to sleep again. Okay, maybe "normal" isn't the right word to describe panties with the fucking days of the week printed on them, but... you know what I mean.

Over them went the pink feety pajamas, brought from Saint Sebastian's. Gail zipped them up for me, fastened the buttons on the seat flap, and gave me a little motherly pat on the behind. I climbed into bed, in the room Gail had set up for me, and she tucked me in for the night.

Now, after all the energy I spent arguing how I was a big girl and I had my bodily functions under control, what do you think happened the very next goddamn morning?

Guess. Go ahead and motherfucking GUESS.

I must have slept later than normal, in the absence of Sister Ulalia's 7AM wake-up bell. The urge in my bladder is what first made me stir. It was all that pineapple juice I'd had the night before. I had no idea what time it was. The room was still completely dark and I awoke groggy and unable to recall the layout of Gail's apartment from the night before. I stepped carefully around the unfamiliar setting at first, trying to find a light switch, but I couldn't, and as the urgency in my bladder intensified, my efforts became increasingly desperate. I stumbled about in the darkness, knocking things over and bumping into my bed, disoriented and unable to locate a way out of the room. I found a door but it turned out to be a closet! It was getting critical, but finally I found the knob on my bedroom door and tore it open, making a frenzied dash to the toilet.

Only... I didn't make it in time.

The sound of my sobbing woke Gail up, and she came out in an ugly floral nightgown, with her hair down and without her librarian glasses. Seeing me sitting in the middle of the hall, sobbing, she quickly understood what had happened.

"Oh, Keilani dear... It's okay." She hugged me reassuringly, but I didn't feel very reassured. "And you see? The Nite-Nite Pants worked. There's no mess to clean up."

Yes, of course, Gail was right and I was a clueless child who didn't know anything. There was not a hint of a wet spot to be seen anywhere on my feety pajamas. Gail led me to the bathroom, unzipped them, pulled them down along with my sodden Nite-Nite Pants. I just let her, without complaint. She was clearly the only grown-up here.

She ran a bit of water in the tub and gave me a cloth to wash up with while she got my outfit for the day. "There we go! All better, Keilani dear." She held my hand as I stepped out of the tub, so I wouldn't slip, and she wrapped a towel around me and helped me dry off. "Now that wasn't so bad at all, was it?"

Yes it was, it was awful! I could only imagine what she thought of me, a 12-year-old who still couldn't control her bodily functions.

"What would you like to wear today?" She asked me. "One of your pretty new dresses?" I didn't care, it was the first time in ages I hadn't worn the stupid orphanage uniform. Gail playfully asked if I knew what day today was, and when I just shook my head no, she held up my new yellow pastel panties with the word "Friday" across the ass. Apparently she just couldn't wait to put them on me.

That was the only time I ever wet myself at Gail's, but it was enough to ensure I got a clean pair of Nite-Nite Pants every bedtime. And yes, Gail fucking checked them every morning after I got dressed. It became part of my daily routine with her. Get me up. Make me breakfast. Drop me off at Saint Sebastian's where I'd work on my debt to society until she got off work in the evening. Take me home. Dinner, bath and bedtime. On some days, she worked from home, so I got to stay there with her, but there was never anything interesting to do. All the while, thoughts of the unpaid bills and my absent parents gnawed at the back of my mind.

When I wasn't at Saint Sebastian's, I was always with Gail, so I never had any time alone where I could have run away, even if I had a place to run to. I was sure this was why the Sisters had chosen to pair me with her. I swear, she's the most boring person alive. She works every single day, even on weekends in her home office. If there was shopping, she did it before picking me up from the orphanage, clearly not wanting to risk another public meltdown. And we never went backpacking for real or even went to the beach. How can you fucking LIVE here and NOT go to the beach?!

Then again, I'd been there exactly twice in the almost five months since I came to Saint Sebastian's. Three times if you count the night I lost my job.

Most of my community service at the orphanage had me scrubbing the kitchen, or doing dishes, or folding laundry. Things that would keep me away from the other girls, so I wouldn't cause any more trouble. The only really eventful day was about a week after Gail first took me home. I was in the kitchen, cleaning trays. Sister Ulalia was on lunchroom duty, so I was alone back there, which was unusual, and meant someone could sneak in to see me.

For once, it wasn't Suzanne, but Oliana, the other victim of Sister Bernadette's hair-cutting punishment, and the least popular girl at Saint Sebastian's before I got there.

Aloha, I said cautiously, not sure why she'd chosen to approach me again. We'd barely spoken since the playground incident.

There was a sense of urgency in Oliana, as if she knew she didn't have much time. In a voice that sounded like a serious warning, she said, "You have to get out of here, Keilani!"

"What, now? I can't, Sister says I have to finish this."

"No, out of Saint Sebastian's!"

"Believe me, I've wanted to since the night they brought me in. But it's impossible, I've fucking tried everything."

"Well you need to think of something else! She's coming after you again!"

I didn't need to ask who "she" was.

"Suzanne," Oliana confirmed. "I overheard her and Makala talking... Well, Suzanne talking. Her parents are coming back next week, and she's planning something, I don't know what, but it definitely involves you."

So my intuition was right. Suzanne's stay at Saint Sebastian's was finally over, and she'd decided to "git" me one last time before she left. And if I knew Suzanne, she'd want it to be bigger than anything she'd orchestrated previously, which was already considerable.

"Ah KNEW it!"

Oliana freaked as the kitchen door burst open and Suzanne and Makala stood right there.

"Ah fuckin' KNEW it!" Suzanne snapped her fingers at Makala, pointed at Oliana. Makala understood, and grabbed her. "What'd yew say ta her?" Suzanne demanded, getting up in the smaller girl's face. "Yew better not be ruinin' mah fun, O-lee-anna!"

"I didn't," Oliana stammered. "I didn't say anything!"

Suzanne studied Oliana's face, trying to determine if she was telling the truth, then looked at me momentarily, gauging my own reaction for any sign that I knew what she was up to. Apparently my bewildered expression convinced her that I didn't.

"Yew wait out-sahd," she said, poking Oliana in the chest. "An' don' try runnin' off nowhere, cuz we'll FAHND yew!" Oliana meekly obeyed, and Suzanne turned her attention to me, a wolf's grin on her fucking haole face. "So, Kay-Lawny. Ah heard yew gotcherself quite a whuppin' from Mizz Whitmur th' other day!"

Jesus, how the fuck did she know that? Probably from eavesdropping on Sister and Gail discussing me, which I was sure they did. But I didn't want to give her any more ammo against me, so I just stayed silent.

Suzanne, of course, did not. "Shore wish Ah coulda bin there ta see it! Is yer skinny li'l ass still red?" Before I could stop her, she took hold of my dress and lifted it, then quickly busted out in a loud guffaw. "HAW-HAW-HAAAAWW! Hey Makala, didja know what day it is t'day? It's WENZ-day!" She chortled again, tugging a handful of my underwear out so Makala could see the lettering on it too.

"Pa`a ka waha," I muttered, blushing furiously. "Shut up." I slapped her hand away and smoothed my dress back down over the embarrassing orange "Wednesday" panties.

"Yer actin' awful high 'n' mighty in yer new out-fit, Kay-Lawny. What, yew think yer better'n us now? Yew think just cuz Mizz Whitmur took yew outta here, now yew git ta be lordin' it over all th' other girls? Mebbe Ah need ta remahnd yew o' somethin', Kay-Lawny. Yew maht have ever'body else here thinkin' yer twelve. But me? Ah still know the TRUTH."

That's right, she did, and she'd kept it from the Sisters, just waiting for the right time to use it against me. Suzanne put on her fake thoughtful expression. "Ah wonder if there's enny way Ah could prove to 'em all that yer really twenny-one?" she mused. "Then yew'd go ta REAL jail fer what yew done did. Stealin', an' Ah could prob'ly git a 'sault 'n' battery charge added on, too! Whadya think, Makala?"

Oh GOD, she wouldn't! Yes she fucking WOULD... but COULD she? I mean, I had been completely unsuccessful at proving my real age. I tried to think, was there any way Suzanne might pull it off? Inwardly I lamented, if only I'd gotten along better with her like Gail had suggested, she might have helped me before, back when I could still reveal myself as 21 with no life-damaging consequences.

"Yew think about THAT while yer livin' th' comfy lahf at Mizz Whitmur's. Cuz Ah ain't done with yew yet, not by a lawng shot!" She motioned to Makala that our conversation was over. "Be seein' yew 'round, Kay-Lawny."

Makala stared silently at me for a few seconds before following her out. A moment later, I heard Suzanne's grating drawl from behind the kitchen doors. "HAAWW! Looky here, Makala! O-lee-anna don't KNOW what day t'day is!"

The whole incident unnerved me for days afterward. This HAD to be it, Suzanne's grand finale, her ultimate humiliation of me before she went home. To expose me as an adult masquerading in a child's world, in front of everyone. To make sure I could never go back to my old life, to permanently ruin it. Oliana was right, I had to get away and fix things before Suzanne could go through with it. But I still had no means of escape.

My only opportunity, if you can call it that, arrived on its own that Friday night. Gail brought me home as usual, but instead of starting dinner she hustled me into the bath early and got out my pajamas and Nite-Nite Pants while I was still in the tub. "Now Keilani dear, I have to go meet with some people tonight, so I want you to be a good girl while I'm out."

"What people? Who?" I wanted to know.

"Just the Sisters and some other people, it doesn't concern you."

God this was too fucking perfect to be true. Gail was actually leaving me unsupervised? "So, I'm just staying here?"

"Yes, and I expect you to be on your best behavior for your babysitters. Oh, that's probably them now." The doorbell outside Gail's apartment had just rung. I scrambled into my PJs and followed Gail as she answered the door, where I was stunned to see--

"`E, howzit, 'Lani!"

"Hiiiii, 'Lani!!"

Fucking Akela and Naia were there! How the hell had they found me? It had to have been from Kahoku. He must have told them about his conversation with Gail, after seeing me with her at Wal-Mart. Then they'd gotten in touch with her and offered to babysit for me. Why? I wondered. Probably to try and talk to me, and maybe make up for our last meeting, but I still wasn't sure I wanted anything to do with them. I couldn't help but wonder what else Kahoku had told them about.

Naia stifled a giggle fit upon seeing me in the ridiculous pink jammies. "Awww, she's so cute!" I immediately put on a sour expression.

"Thank you so much for coming on such short notice," said Gail. "I'm sorry, we just got back and I didn't have time to throw dinner together."

"Oh, no problem, we'll just order something." Naia went to the phone to take care of that right away. "Wouldn't want Scrawny Keilani to go hungry!" she teased.

"Naia!" Akela chided. "We're supposed to be the adults here."

Gail didn't react to the "Scrawny Keilani" nickname, but I knew she'd heard it. "Are you sure you'll be all right?" she asked. "She can be a real handful sometimes."

"Oh, don't worry about us, Gail." Yeah, Akela was old enough to call her Gail. "We know 'Lani from way back, we'll take good care of her."

"Well I can't thank you enough. It shouldn't take more than a couple of hours." Then, to me, "Now you be a good little girl, Keilani dear, and do what the babysitters tell you."

Babysitters! As if I really were ten years younger than them! Of course at this point, in their eyes I probably was, considering all the public tantrums and spankings they'd seen me get. These stupid feety pajamas sure weren't helping, either.

As soon as she was out the door, I turned to my two former friends. "Thank Akua you came! Now get me the fuck out of here!"

But they made no motion to leave. "We can't, 'Lani," Akela explained patiently. "She's paying us to watch you, and keep you out of trouble."

Christ, they were treating this like a regular babysitting gig, like I actually was a kid who needed someone with them!

"But I'm NOT FUCKING TWELVE!" I cried. They knew this. They were the only ones who could get me back into my old life.

"Look, I don't know everything that's been going on with you, but it's obvious you need some help straightening it out. And we're gonna help you, but we gotta do it right, yeah? If we take you away it'll just cause more problems."

Naia hung up the phone and jumped into the conversation. "Yeah, c'mon, just be good for us, 'Lani, just for tonight."

No, didn't they understand, there wasn't TIME! Suzanne Calloway was planning something big to go down in less than a week, which meant I had to get started NOW. "But I HAVE to get away from here! I have to get back to my normal life!"

Akela shook her head. "I'm afraid it isn't that simple anymore, 'Lani."

"Yes it IS!" I stamped my foot petulantly. "You've got my house key. Take me home, I'll get my stuff and then--"

"'Lani..." Naia looked more grave than I'd ever seen her before. "'Lani, we went by your house a few days ago and... there was a foreclosure sign up in the yard. The bank changed the locks, we couldn't even get in!"

"You've really made a mōkākī of your life, 'Lani." The disappointment in Akela's voice was crushing.

I was speechless. This was un-fucking-believable. After months of trying to get back home, I now literally had no home to go back to! And, I thought as my stomach knotted up, my parents didn't either! What the hell were they going to do when they finally returned from their trip?!

"Is that why you moved in with Gail?" asked Naia. "Because you needed a place to stay?"

"But why are you letting her treat you like you're eight?"

"Did you have to pretend, so you could stay at that orphanage?"

"You know we would have let you crash with us, 'Lani. All you had to do was ask."

She was absolutely right of course, but back when that was still an option I'd decided against it. At the time I would have done everything possible to avoid having them see me like this. It seemed ridiculous now, considering how far I'd fallen since then.

The food arrived shortly after, and my new babysitters answered the door.

"`E, howzit, 'Lia!"

"Hiiiii, 'Lia!!"

"Hey... you two? So, what, you moved out of your other place?" Clearly it was someone who knew Akela and Naia.

"No, we're just babysitting tonight," said Naia. "Well c'mon in!" They moved out of the way, and I got a good look at her, and could not fucking believe it. It was that tall girl with the dark tan, from the luau bar, the one who'd taken my job! Halia, her name was.

"Hey, it's YOU!" she said, recognizing me from the time I'd gone there and failed to get my job back. She knelt down a bit to be closer to my eye level. "Hi, cutie!"

I whirled to glare at Akela and Naia. "How the hell do you know HER?" I demanded.

"It's okay, 'Lani, calm down," Akela said. "We know 'Lia from U of H. We met, we've been hanging out."

"So... you REPLACED me??" And with the same girl that took over my old job no less! She was the third person in their group now, and I was out! They'd even christened her with a friendly little nickname, just like they'd originally done with me. "'Lia", short for Halia.

"What's she talking about?" asked Halia. "I relaced her?" Then she remembered why she was here in the first place. "So, that's one order of opihi, two mahimahi, side of poi and a side of grilled pineapple?"

"Wait, you ordered from the place that FIRED me?!" This kept getting fucking worse by the minute!

"Fired you?" said Halia, confused.

"Wait, so it's true, you did get fired, 'Lani?" Naia asked. Apparently they had heard the rumors just like all my former co-workers.

Halia was clearly recalling the last time I'd been at the bar, and the first time she'd seen me. "Sweetheart, the only reason the boss-man wouldn't let you work there is because you're way too little--"

OHH, was that ever the wrong thing for her to say. Seeing my expression, Akela stepped up in an effort to ward off a scene. "Hey look, 'Lia, I'm sorry about all this, we didn't know you were working at the same place as... Here, here's what we owe you, plus tip, and we'll talk later, yeah?"

Halia seemed to understand. "Yeah, she's probably just hungry, you know how kids get? Well, you two are stuck with her, I gotta get back to work."

Naia waved. "Later, 'Lia!"

Akela shut the door, but I didn't move, I just stood there fuming.

"Come on, 'Lani, Hōo`olu, noho pono" said Naia. Please behave. She held up the paper bag with the food. "Look, we got your favorite, it'll be just like old times!"

NO, it WOULDN'T be like old times, not as long as they kept forcing me out of their circle and treating me like I really was ten years younger than them! I saw the last remnants of my old life crumbling before my eyes.

"Keilani, act your age," Akela scolded impatiently.

Only I COULDN'T! Because if I went back to being my real age I'd get arrested and charged as an adult! But how could I explain this to them? I didn't want them to know about the whole shoplifting incident.

Naia called from the kitchen where she'd taken the food. "Come on, 'Lani, come eat something, you'll feel better."

But I WOULDN'T feel better, not until I got this whole terrible mess straightened out! And the people I thought were my friends kept refusing to help me!

"Fine." Akela realized this was getting nowhere. "Naia and I are pōloli, we're gonna eat." She took my shoulders and steered me to a chair by Gail's desk. "You sit there, and when you decide you wanna stop acting like a baby, you can come eat too."

God, could there BE a more childish punishment? Clearly Akela had no interest in making up for how she'd treated me last time! Plus she'd pretty much stolen Kahoku from me, she and Naia had taken that humiliating video of me and showed it to the whole world, and now they wouldn't even let me TRY being an adult again!

"God, Kahoku was right," I overheard Akela say to Naia, but in a lower voice so maybe I wouldn't hear. "She really has gotten worse."

"What are we gonna do with her?" Naia wondered. "It's like she's a completely different person now."

Akela sighed heavily. "At this point I think the only thing that's gonna fix her is her parents coming back."

"Do you think they ever will? I mean they've been gone like forever."

"I don't know. But she obviously needs them, she can't handle living on her own."

They were talking about me as if I weren't right there in the next room! Just like parents discussing their problem child! It made me so fucking mad!

And then, as I was sitting there in "time-out" like Akela told me (because what the fuck choice did I have?), I saw them. On the end table just inside the door.

Akela's keys. She'd left them there when she came in. I recognized my now useless spare house key among them.

And I made a snap decision and I fucking grabbed them, and was out the door while Akela and Naia were still unwrapping the food.

I flew down one flight of stairs, then the second and the third, the pads of my feety pajamas scraping the concrete steps all the way. A few weeks ago I'd have been mortified to even set foot outside wearing them, where someone I knew might see me. Was it desperation to escape, or had I fallen into the role of a little girl so completely that the childish outfit didn't bother me as much as it should have?

I was already trying to think of my next move. Should I drive to Akela and Naia's place in Kāne`ohe? With her keys, I could get in and borrow an outfit. Or should I head straight to my old house and see if any of my stuff was still there? The spare key wouldn't work, but maybe I could find another way inside. Hell, I'd smash in a fucking window if I had to!

Now, where was Akela's car? I hit the button on her keychain and heard a sharp electronic chirp, and saw a set of headlights flash briefly. There it was.

"Keilani!" I heard Akela's angry voice from Gail's apartment. "Keilani you come back here right now! KEILANI, GOD DAMN IT!!" She was calling me by my complete name. Not the affectionate "'Lani", which she reserved for her fellow adult friend. No, I was Keilani, the spoiled, misbehaving little brat.

I reached the car and unlocked the driver's side. I had to scoot the seat all the way forward so I could reach the pedals. Akela's car was a stick, something I'd never really been good at handling. I put it in what I thought was reverse but turned out to be neutral. The engine revved loudly as I stomped the gas but I didn't go anywhere. I struggled with the shift some more, then peeled backwards out of the parking space, slamming on the brakes just before I hit Akela, who'd finally caught up to me. I jammed it into first, eased up on the clutch, stomped the gas, and off I went.

And promptly thumped HARD into the stone sign at the edge of the apartment complex. I hadn't driven in months. Was I really so out of practice?

The airbag burst out all around me, scaring the everloving crap out of me and half trapping me in the seat. My stomach was swarming with terrified butterflies. I'm sure I screamed just like a terrified little girl.

As I was trying to get the car backed up again, the door flew open (I realized too late that I'd forgotten to lock it) and a furious Akela grabbed me and dragged me out.

"LOOK at this!" she shrieked, hauling me around to the front of the vehicle. "Look what you did to my CAR!" There was an ugly dent in the front bumper where it had impacted the sign, and the driver's side headlight was smashed out. "Kokami, kanapapiki..." she swore, surveying the damage, then shouted, "What the hell is WRONG with you?!"

At some point during all of this Naia had reappeared. Her hands were clasped over her mouth, face wide-eyed and aghast. Neither of us had ever seen Akela get so mad before.

"I'm sorry!" I whined, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it but I had to get away from Suzanne and you wouldn't listen and I promise I'll pay for it and--"

"HOW?!" Akela demanded fiercely. "How the hell are you gonna pay for this, Keilani?! You got no JOB... You got no HOUSE... You drop out of SCHOOL... You act like a damn KEIKI! Maybe you ARE one!"

Akela firmly took hold of my arms and forced me to lie over the hood of the car, just like Gail had done on the night she'd first picked me up from the police station. She practically tore the seat flap on my pajamas open, and tugged down the Nite-Nite pants as best she could. I knew what was coming next, and I squealed and thrashed and twisted my little body, trying my good goddamnedest to break free of my friend-turned-babysitter's grasp.

Akela fought to hold on to me. "Get her legs, Naia!"

And at those words, something snapped inside me. I instantly flashed back to Saint Sebastian's, in my feety pajamas, in my playpen room, the night before my trial, when Suzanne Calloway had burst in.

"Git 'er legs, Makala!"

And here I was reliving that exact same moment, only now my orphanage tormentors had been replaced by my two former best friends.

And I screeched, "NNNOOOOOOOOOOOO! FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, I HATE YOOOUUUUU!! HONI KO`U `ELEMU! FUCKING `ILIO WAHINE! KOHE PIIILAUUUU!!"

The reddish tinge in Akela's hair enhanced the fury of her expression as she lifted her hand and began raining down a hail of swats on my poor little bottom. She hit HARD, hard enough to leave me gasping, able to take in just enough breath every few slaps to let out a bellow. The tears were flowing freely, running down my burning face and dripping onto the car's dented hood.

Akela paused, wincing, waving her hand back and forth to shake off the pain. And if she hurt her own hand that much you can imagine what my little ass cheeks felt like!

"Akela?" Naia interrupted timidly. "Not so hard." I thought she was coming to my defense, but then she added, "Remember what Professor Kalakona said? You're supposed to put her in her place, not hurt her."

God, now they were fucking practicing what they'd learned in parenting class on me! And it was from that same day when I'd been the unwitting demonstration subject!

Realizing how angry she was, Akela closed her eyes, took a deep composing breath, and stepped away, letting the calmer "parent" take over. Akela spanking me was bad enough, but Naia?! Of the three of us she'd always been the least mature, at least until now. Her swats were little more than forceful taps, but that made them even worse. Because they reminded me of how Suzanne had done it. Telling me she was more adult than me. Better than me.

Everybody was better than me. Here I was, dressed in babyish feety pajamas, bent over as my two former best friends gave me a bare-bottomed spanking in public!

As Naia was wrapping hers up, swirling red and blue lights hailed the appearance of a patrol car pulling into the apartment complex. That's what Naia had been doing while Akela was chasing after me, I realized. She'd called the fucking cops!

And guess which particular fucking cop she got?

That's right, fucking Officer Janene. The same one who'd found me naked on the beach and caught me shoplifting from the store. She quickly took statements from Akela and Naia to find out what had happened, whose car it was, who had been driving. She didn't seem very surprised at all to learn it had been me.

"Oh, we're well acquainted with this one," she told them. "Running away, violating curfew, indecent exposure, shoplifting..."

"Shoplifting?" whispered Naia in sad disbelief. "Oh, Keilani..."

Then Officer Janene asked Akela if she wanted to press charges. She said no. Then asked if she had to decide right now. God she looked pissed. Officer Janene said she could take a day or two to think about it.

As soon as we were back inside, Akela sent me to bed. I hadn't even gotten to eat any of the nice Hawaiian meal they'd ordered. The fabric stung my reddened ass painfully as I lay sobbing in bed, thinking about what a bad little girl I'd been. Of course they still told Gail the whole story when she got back, which meant I got read the riot act again the next morning, as soon as I got up. Akela had made it clear that she was NOT babysitting for me again. Gail was at her wit's end.

"Stealing a car?! HONESTLY, Keilani dear, I just don't know what to DO with you anymore! Maybe Sister Bernadette and I were mistaken, maybe we should have just had you sent to the juvenile center. It certainly seems like you belong there!"

There wasn't a fucking thing I could say. The fury I'd felt the previous night had subsided, leaving only shame and disappointment in myself. There was absolutely no excuse for the way I'd acted.

"Didn't your parents ever teach you about pono?" Gail demanded.

Of course they had, and of course I knew that no matter how badly I felt I'd needed it, trying to take Akela's car was not pono. And I realize now that every bad thing that has happened to me was because I'd done something that was not pono. Getting fired and ending up in the orphanage because I'd been a bitch to that customer. Having my hair forcibly cut because I'd punched Suzanne Calloway. Getting arrested because I'd tried to steal adult clothing from a store. Being spanked by Gail, Sister Bernadette, Sister Ulalia, my best friends, EVERYONE it seemed, because I just could not fucking learn to behave.

It was all on ME. I was NEVER a grown-up, I'd ALWAYS been a child, regardless of what my actual birthdate said. And a rotten, selfish, ungrateful one at that. I'd never even said mahalo to Gail for all the nice things she'd done for me. Taking me out of Saint Seb's, buying me food and clothes, giving me a place to live. I was a horrible child, and I didn't deserve all the things I'd had. Maybe I deserved to have them all taken away from me, one by one.

So I'm sure all of you are gleefully wondering, how the hell could my life get any worse?

Well, for starters... I'm not typing this on Sister Bernadette's computer anymore.

Or Gail's.


TO BE CONCLUDED


(Copyright © December 2012 by ToddCheese.)